About Kalyāṇa-mitta in Shikshantar,South City 1, Gurgaon

Kalyāṇa-mitta,
“When words are both true and kind, they can change our world,” Buddha once said. The only person who tells us something true and kind is our friend. Buddha called himself a Kalyan Mitra, a friend who wants our welfare; who is pleased to see us happy. To be a Kalyan Mitra is the best thing one can do for himself and others. In Buddhist view, it is the essential quality of a spiritual practitioner and a spiritual teacher as well. This article attempts to present the importance of being a Kalyan Mitra for oneself and for the wellbeing of many.

The benefits of meditation are presented beautifully by the Buddha himself. Buddha was asked, “What have you gained from meditation?” He replied, “Nothing!” “However,” he said, “Let me tell you what I lost: Anger, anxiety, depression, insecurity, fear of old age and death.” When these miseries are lost, what remains is peace and happiness. In a state of deep peace, true wisdom arises. One can see things as they are. One realises the impermanent nature of things. All sorrows exist simply because everything is changing but the mind cannot accept change and feels sad. In meditation, one can realise that change is the nature of things. The more we accept change, the happier we become.

As one comes out of suffering, one is filled with compassion for people who are suffering. S/he wants to help others to get rid of miseries and be at peace. Almost each and every person who sits in meditation for ten days suggests it to his/her family, friends and neighbours. S/he becomes a Kalyan Mitra. S/he becomes a visionary who sees light in the dark. In helping others, s/he helps himself; in loving others, he loves himself/herself; in giving others, he receives.

A Kalyan Mitra is always filled with the desire for overall welfare. S/he prays for our good. S/he expects nothing but wants to see us happy, singing and dancing. While seeing us celebrating, s/he is filled with ecstasy.

If we want to be happy, we should have at least few friends who are Kalyan Mitra. Lord Buddha is always there as our Kalyan Mitra. We can accept him as such and practice following his path.
Some people become our friends just to accompany us only when eating or drinking. Even worse, some of the friends fill us with negativity or try to exploit our energy, time and money. We want friends who keep us neat and clean and who love us unconditionally. Knowledge and practice follow unconditional love.

Being a Kalyan Mitra is a spiritual path in and of itself. A Kalyan Mitra has a sympathetic and practical look at what it takes to transform himself or herself and his/her friends. This is an excellent way of being a friend to others.